Message from skyscraper

Wed, 23 Jan 2013 09:59:08 GMT

IMO, in as much as good sex is crucial for intimacy in marriage, I don't quite agree with the writer when she/he says "no
matter what the problem is in marriage, as long as the couple still enjoys good
sex with one another, it can easily be over-looked". Good sex cannot take away distrust arising from infidelity, good sex cannot take away physical and emotional abuse etc. Good sex can only even be considered 'good' when the 2 parties are at peace with eachoda. I don't know abt u ladies,but if am upset with my husband, d last thing I want is him touching me,talk more of having sex. So how does good sex make it right?
I have an aunt whose younger sister refused to marry a man everyone knew loved her silly just cos he wasn't fantastic in bed. She had met someone who took the word 'bedmatics' to a phd level! She married d sex guru. (She had confided in her elder sister dat dat was why she didn't want to marry d oda guy) years into d marriage,d abuse - both physical and emotional began to take its toll and she moved back to her parents home. She confessed dat the 'good sex' lost its flavor after some time and dat it didn't bring with it any form of intimacy.
Long and short of my gist is 'sex is very essential in marriage but good sex does not make everything right'. But I so totally agree with d writer on men 'preparing' their wives adequetly b4 attempting to make love to dem - with sweet words and gestures. Sadly,only very very few men know to do dat! They just toss, turn and climb!
Overall good write-up sha!

Message from butterfly

Tue, 15 Jan 2013 12:30:59 GMT

Ladies,

Happy New year to you
all.

Came across this
article, couldn't help sharing, enjoy!

The rate of increase
in the number of people filing for divorce in our courts of law these days is
becoming so alarming. Even many couples who are not considering divorce
are not doing so, not because they are enjoying their marriage but simply because
they have resigned themselves to fate since they cannot face the stigma of been
tagged a “divorcee.” So, they rather stay in and suffer in silence.

There are several
reasons people give for seeking divorce, but my experience in marriage counseling
has made me realize that the bedrock of every of those reasons is poor sex.
Hardly will you see a man or a woman in court on the basis of lack of sexual
satisfaction, especially in our side of the world, but underneath whatever
reason they give is the monster of sexual dissatisfaction.

The truth is, no
matter what the problem is in marriage, as long as the couple still enjoys good
sex with one another, it can easily be over-looked. The two can easily find a
way around it. But the moment they no longer enjoy good sex with each other,
issues that were never considered to be problematic suddenly become matters
that can no longer be ignored. The quality of sex and what it represents
plays a major role in the quality of every marriage: poor sex will always
result in a weak marriage and vice versa. So, if you are not enjoying a great
sex life with your spouse, it is important you both find out what is wrong and
make changes before it costs you more than you bargain for.

However, it must be
stressed that great a sex life between a couple does not come just because the
two love themselves. As nothing good comes easily, there are prices to pay by
both parties if they will enjoy great sex life with one another. They must both
recognize and appreciate the importance of great sex life to their union and
achieving it must become their mutual goal.

The question you may
want to ask is this: if sex is God’s gift to married couple and they are both
created as sexual beings, why should there be any problem in expressing
themselves to one another in sexual intercourse? Why should enjoying a great
sex life with each other be an issue since they both have the urge for it?

Enjoying great sex
with your spouse is a function of many things, but a major one is the
difference in the body make up of man and woman. A couple that will enjoy a
great sex life must recognise the difference in the body mechanism of man and
woman and seek how to use it to their advantage. This difference is what is
responsible for the variance in the way men and women view and respond to sex.
A good understanding of this will go a long way in ensuring that sex becomes
something that you and your spouse look forward to.

Sex, for a man, is an
“any day” and “any time” thing. He needs no special preparation for him to have
good sexual intercourse with his wife. Mere seeing a part of her body can set
him aflame and as far as he is concerned, he sees no reason why she
should not be ready to receive him any time he signifies his intention to have
sex. A woman on the other hand, views sex in a different way. For her, good sex
requires preparation. A fire brigade approach does not work. While her man
needs no special effort to be aroused sexually, she needs him to help her
become sexually aroused by his sweet words and gentle touch. This is because a
woman’s response to sex is slow and gradual but that of a man is quick and
spontaneous.

Somebody once said that there are only two things on the mind of a man
when he is coming back home after work: good food and good sex. But this is not
so with a woman. Many times, sex is the last thing on her mind due to the fact
that she is a multi-faceted being, and that is why her husband must take time
to prepare her ahead for a good show. A man once said that for him to get the
sexual response he desires from his wife at bedtime, he begins to prepare her
right in the morning.

King Solomon in his
wisdom describes a woman as a well and a man as a fountain (Proverbs 5:15-18).
Water is not found on the surface of a well like it is with a fountain. Anyone
who will get water from a well must be ready to reach deep down into it and
draw it out. Likewise is it with a woman, her man must be patient enough to
reach down into her, draw out her affection and bring her to a place of sexual
excitement and fulfillment. This takes time. It takes a lot of petting. It
takes planting yourself into her heart hours before show time. And at show
time, it takes a lot of kissing and fondling. A man should never be in a hurry
to draw from his wife, for the “well is deep.” Anything short of this, she sees
herself as being used.

The beauty of sex is
lost when the fulfillment is not mutual. I remember a couple I had to counsel
with on this issue. The woman had developed apathy for sex because according to
her, all he does is to use her to satisfy his sexual desire, after which he
rolls off to the other side of the bed, taking a deep sleep while she is left
to cry herself to sleep, feeling dejected and unfulfilled.

So, the goal of every
man should be to make sex something his wife will look forward to and this will
only be made possible when he makes taking her to the climax - reaching orgasm
- his focus at every show time. On the other hand, the woman must make herself
attractive to her husband and make him feel welcome at all times.

edited by butterfly on 1/15/2013

Wivesroundtable - SEX!!! - Sexual satisfaction:Big deal 4 successful marriage - Messages

Message from skyscraper

Message from butterfly